I read a headline on whats on Gambia, that ”Sweden has the highest divorce rate in the diaspora”.
I think that when adressing this matter one needs to check first of all the reasons we travel to these countries for. When I was a kid I used to hear that ”Ousman” or ”Fatou” has travelled to England or U.S.A to further their studies. Very seldom did I hear someone mention Sweden, Norway or Denmark!
If we just say that Sweden and these other countries are just for hustling as many of us see it. My point is that when coming here, for most people it´s because you are married to someone here. Anyway sometimes we do miss the point why we came here, if one is getting married for the fact that he or she wants to get here for gold digging and not for marriage, as soon as one is established then the hidden agenda will surface. It is so sad that one can replace the future of your kids and the stages you have built for worldly things.
We do experience difficulties in marriages up here. Some of our men are not being straight with their wives. We have to stop trying to make a fool of each other. Coming to my fellow women lets have sympathy and perseverance, we can`t finish the worldly things we feel that we need or believe that we should have. Even though our religion (Islam) says they should take care of us, but we should have patience and also remember that we live in a very difficult world and not all men have it easy in order to carry that heavy burden, We atleast can contribute something to lift the pressure off their heads in order to share some quality time with them and help them live longer. They can misslead you by making you believe in them. What they do is deceive you by cheating you with someone-else and even get married to that person and then they always quote according to the religion, but never remember that the same religion has commanded them to feed, shelter and cloth you too!!
I believe that many things are not being done in a more fair way, this make many women revolt and that would disolve the marriage and yet again the loosers would be women and their poor children. All you do hear is ”our women”. If the men really adjust a little of their ways of doing things I think then the women will do their best. If you bring your spouse here you need to be open and tell her about your condition and dont hide anything, infact these are things you need to let the person in particular know before marriage,
We do experience horrible things in our marriages here. I mean serious things that most people can`t take. Marriage is not an easy task as we know by experience or hearing from couples going through it. I did not expect to read that type of headline but if that is the truth then something needs to be done by us Gambians. If anyone would think that your spouse is less worthy then that marriage would not last. I think if we help each other and have a little bit more of sympathy for each other, things would work better in these marriages. Another thing that could help; can be perseverance which many of us lack and I mean this is for both men and women,
Respect for each other is the most important part of a marriage, marriage is a combination of many things and every part of the puzzle should fit in its right place!! We are to complete each other and not compete each other. A broken heart results to a broken home in most cases if it is not taken care of at the beginning. Don`t take your spouse for granted cause he or she might surprise you. Marriage is just like a garden, needs to be taken care of in order to look nice and green so give your marriages the things it needs. I know many Gambians that are married for decades in Sweden, learn from them how they are doing it.
Take notice: The people in the pictures dont have anything to do with the article